20. Guilty Landscape

Now it’s Your Turn

In the comments, please ask questions or make suggestions that will help the cartographer improve the map. Key things to think about include:

  • Does the map orient the viewer?
  • Does the data tell a story?
  • Does the map support the story being told?
  • Does the map make assumptions?
  • How could the map be more readable?
  • Are there any errors or typos?
  • Chuck Clark

    A stunning image. Well done.

    I’m not sure I understand the accompanying text: consider adding a bit of space in the letter kerning. This will improve readability.

    Also, I’m guessing you are not a native English reader. The grammar and syntax is wordy and a bit infected with jargon. Find someone who can help you tighten up the sentences. For instance, instead of “This world projection enable to show . . .” consider “This world projection shows . . .”

    Another example: Rather than “The Atlas of Guilty Territories is an attempt at unveiling ongoing over-exploiting activities which are engendering high-risk terrains,” consider: “The Atlas of Guilty Territories unveils exploitive activities that engender high-risk terrains.” That is to say, don’t bother pointing out that you are *attempting* to do something, just say you are doing something.

    Next sentence: instead of what you have, consider “These activities cause aridity and significantly compromise environmental productivity and livability.” (Eleven words versus fifteen words.)

    Your sentences already have the content and substance your story requires; you merely need simpler sentences to get your points across clearly.

    Very strong subject matter.

    Consider a larger font size for the vertically oriented callouts. (You may need to eliminate a few but if you feature the more important ones that will not be a great loss to lose some. Right now they are all too small to read.)

  • sarah dorrance

    Guilty Territories or Landscapes should be decided on. I like Landscapes…..
    The language used is quite subtle and compelling. It is a beautiful map and goes well with the beautiful language. It is not a quick read.
    I read this many times over and liked realizing that there was a direction I was being pulled to consider, and a direction in which to consider it, subtle but clear.
    I believe this map may need more pixels and a larger font in places, but am not at my best computer, so I am unsure.
    Guilty Territories or Landscapes should be decided on. I like landscapes…..
    1st sentence 1/4 or 1/2 space between 2nd sentence.
    In the same vein, The capacity of cartography…. in my opinion should have a 1/4 or 1/2 space allowed from above.
    The content is quite clear. 1st paragraph is worded beautifully.
    This projection world map ‘shows’…..remove ‘enables to’. Same sentence after the word ‘Europe’, remove ‘therefore’, highlight should have an ‘s’.
    I like the implications brought to the surface in relation to the words ‘veiled’ and ‘make manifest’ and other words used.
    2nd paragraph, 1st sentence remove ‘s’ from other.
    2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence replace ‘could’ with ‘would’.
    Last sentence needs1/4 or 1/2 space between sentence above. In sites of…. remove ‘of’, use ‘with’.

  • Erica Milwain

    This is a fascinating and beautiful image, I really felt drawn in to look at it. However, I have read through the text several times and I am still unsure whether I understand everything the map is trying to convey, although I feel it is important.

    I did some checking and found the publication the map was first published in. There is a simpler explanation there. I would prefer to see a simpler commentary with this map as I think there are some very strong points to be made. Am I right in thinking that the source of the sand storms is the former seabed of the Aral Sea, which is now almost gone due to human activity? The salty and polluted sand is being blown great distances onto European agricultural land.

    What is happening at Nukus?

    The dust storms seem to go to specific locations in Europe. Why is this?

    Could the areas of agricultural overexploitation and areas of desertification be made different colours to distinguish them better from one another?

    Are the tick marks at the bottom of the map, distances from the Aralkum Desert? If so, an explanation and indication of distance would be useful.

    The city names under the map seem rather small and strangely scattered about. The symbols aren’t particularly easy to distinguish and might benefit from some colour. Given the space available it might be better to weed out some less important places to make the rest easier to read.

    What is ‘Plant’ in the legend?

  • cannot understand the data or context. Nice image

  • Perrine Laroche

    The main point: this map is truly esthetic and innovative! but maybe hard to read for now..
    What I get is that sands from the Aralkum desert are transported around the world. I would say that the arrows on the whole globe lead me to think that this sand is moved under wind force.. obviously, the typography is too small and therefore illegible that do not allow to understand what the elements of the legend elements are referring to.
    Maybe eliminate a part of the information ( little arrows ) should help to clarify..